…certainly not Christian Bale’s beard.
As I write, the Oscars are on the television. Not that I’m actually watching the program, although my dog seems to be enjoying it.
However, my fleeting glances at the “star-spangled” lineup reveal one consistent and confusing trend: celebrity beards.
2011, apparently, has been the year for celebrities to don facial hair. They showcase their often ill-conceived hirsute renderings during awards shows, even if they were clean-shaven in a film. There’s no pattern, rhyme, or reason to which male celebrities grow beards.
Their reasons for growing them? Arcane. The way they look? Typically dreadful.
Tomorrow, I’ll be featuring a showcase of celebrity beards, both noble and savage. The reason for doing this is simple: I want to know what beards symbolize.
Name one contemporary public figure (think politician) that has a beard. If you’ve managed to ferret one out from the dregs of your memory (or from a perfunctory Google search), I’ll give you a quarter. No, really, I will. Bonus point if he’s below the age of 35.